Reflections from the RMC Leadership Retreat

from Transitional Conference Minister Rev. Erin Gilmore

As a first step in our transition period as a Conference, about two dozen leaders from across the RMC gathered at La Foret from Oct 21-23, to begin an intentional process of reflecting on where we have been, what we value and how that informs our collective work going forward as we seek to support, equip and connect local churches and leaders in their unique contexts. The group was made up of RMC Board Members, Association Leaders, COM members, and others across the conference interested in the future direction of the Conference. 

A few days before our retreat began, La Foret called us and asked if we wanted to stay in the newly finished Lapp Lodge instead of the cabins. Our answer was an easy “YES!!” I had seen the Lodge under construction earlier in the summer so I had a general idea of what it was going to look like, but when I stepped into the main room and saw the couches next to the fire, the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and yes, deer out the back door, I was overwhelmed by the reality of standing on the actual floors of this Lodge that had once just been a dream.  And now here it was. 

I thought of how hard Brad Carroll and the rest of the La Foret staff have been working to see this project through. I thought of Janet and Robb Lapp whose legacy is honored in its very name. I thought of Larry McCullough who stepped in at a crucial moment and helped propel La Foret into a new chapter of life changing ministry. I thought of Sue Artt, who in her first week in the conference helped save La Foret from foreclosure and then continued to imagine what might be possible with a space like Lapp Lodge. I thought of Logan Bennett, and the creation of the Refuge, and the fact that just the night before the youth who were gathered for a retreat had christened Lapp Lodge with dancing, laughter and joy.  

As I stood in the entryway, the significance of gathering with a group of RMC leaders in this particular space to reflect on what has happened and what we have learned over the last two years was not lost on me. I invited Quanita Roberson to facilitate our retreat in large part because I knew she could not only hold us well in the complexity and the grief that is still present in our conference, but that she could also help us move through it.  And not just the grief of the last two years, but the grief of COVID, and the changing church, and the loss of relationships, and the state of our world, and…and…and.

Over the course of the three days we reflected on what has changed in us, in our conference, and in our world since 2020. We talked about the COVID-19 pandemic, we talked about the changes in leadership in the RMC. We talked about our attempts to address racism and white supremacy as a Conference, and also about our failures to work through these challenges. 

One of the many poignant things that Quanita shared during our time together was her observation that shame, blame, and guilt are often used as tools to avoid the tough emotions that a person or group just doesn’t want to feel. As we discussed where we have been and where we are as a Conference we noticed how much shame, blame, and guilt are often present in our conversations.  It led us to get curious about what emotions we might be trying to avoid. What is it that we might be mourning as pastors, as members, as churches, and as a Conference? What pain are we carrying around? 

In the sacredness of a circle Quanita invited us into a grief ritual together that offered space for us to let go of what we needed to let go of to be present and ready for who and what we need to be about now in RMC.

Here are just some of things shared about our time together: 

• Grateful for vulnerable community 
• Curious about the relationship between being and doing: Deeply appreciative of space for “being” and eager to get to more “doing” 
• Grateful for relationships, building new relationships and nurturing old ones 
• Grateful for the diversity of voices from across the conference and the capacity to be honest with one another. 
• Wondering when and how we going to roll up our sleeves and get to work
• Reflecting on what is possible when we show up from a more healed place 
• Appreciating the openness, sense of community, and shared sense of belonging 
• Recognizing the shared wisdom that is present and available for us to offer and receive 
• Wondering how we can create more spaces like this for more people across our conference

While there is still a lot of work ahead of us, and so much that is yet unknown, I walked away from this retreat in awe of how the Spirit moves in and through us, sometimes even in spite of us, to bring about more beauty, grace, goodness, and courage in our everyday lives.